Newcastle reach FA Cup Final. PLEASE, God ... NO!  Don’t let THAT happen, no matter what. Because the headlines that follow our defeat at Wembley (and lose, we would), would be cataclysmic.

First. There’d be the question.

“Did FA Cup run cost Newcastle a European place?”

Because a cup run will do that. We may NOT manage a European place anyway, but the cup will make damned certain we fail.

Then would come the first cracks.

“Coloccini refuses to sign new contract. Skipper will leave Magpies as free agent.”

But, stoically, the club will soldier on.  Pardew would say: “These things happen,” as he signs Fred Smithers from Southern Scunthorpe Wheeltappers Social Club AFC. “He’s a rough diamond but he’s the next John Terry.” (I know, but Pardew thinks like that!)

As next season starts, the 10 games unbeaten would become ten games without a win as the Cup run hangover sets in.  By October, Ashbert and Llambley would have had enough.

“Pardew sacked as Magpies seek to halt slide.”

Ashley would now be considering his ownership of the club AGAIN, and would decide to bring in someone reliable.

“Magpies turn to Phil Brown – a safe pair of hands.”

Then we’d hammer The Mackems 7-0 at St James’ Park and Phil Brown would declare:”We can still get into Europe.”

In fact, NUFC would start a Hull City style slide towards the Championship.

And on the last day of the 2012 -2013 we’d win 4-0 away to Manchester United.

But Sunderland’s draw with Manchester City would send us down to the Championship again and Brown would quit.

“My Magpies revenge: Brown reveals his plot to see Newcastle relegated.”

Meantime, Tiote, Cabaye, Ben Arfa, Krul, Steven Taylor and Cisse all ask for transfers. Demba Ba asks for more strawberry syrup or he’ll demand a transfer too.

“Ameobi tells fans : I’ll get us back to top flight,” screams Lee Ryder in the Chron., while Luke Edwards tells his Telegraph readers: “Newcastle’s star players remain. They can get back tot he premier league using Nile Ranger, Ryan Taylor and Steve Harper as the backbone of the side.”

Ok, ok, ok. It’s all ludicrously far-fetched. But I’ve supported Newcastle for more than fifty years. I’ve seen what happens to the club when things go “right”.

Our history says we over-stretch (Keegan’s rant about Man Utd) ourselves, and shoot ourselves in the foot.

And a run to the cup final would do that. A win there would do worse (witness Birmingham City’s plunge to oblivion).

So I’d prefer NUFC to avoid a cup run, to concentrate on being the Premier League’s surprise package, and to get within an ace of -  or better, into - a European place.

Meantime, it’s back to my one-time stamping ground – Brighton - (I worked there awhile.).

I’ll be screaming for Colo and the boys to do their damnedest to beat Brighton, to step into the fifth round of the FA Cup and to see if we can’t win a goddamned trophy!

HOWAY THE LADS.

NEWCASTLE FOR THE CUP!